Friday, August 17, 2012
Dear Kids
-I really couldn't have said this better myself!
Dear Kids,
To my daughter:
Wait as long as you can to shave your legs, pluck your eyebrows or color your hair. Because once you start, you’re signing on for a lifelong commitment.
Don’t flip through the pages of Cosmo or Vogue to compare your beauty to because those photos have been airbrushed. Go to Walmart instead. No airbrushing there.
Every photo that is taken of you, and every email that you write, is forever. Sure, it’s funny now, but do you want that crap plastered across the Washington Post when you run for President?
Give the nerd a chance. See that hot jock over there? One day he’s going to be fat, bald and working at a Blimpie. And when you’re 40, you’re not going to care how many push-ups your husband can do. You’re going to want a sweet, supportive partner who is intelligent and a good conversationalist. And maybe a trip to the Bahamas.
Find an exercise that you can do for a majority of your life like golf or yoga. You only have so many years that your body can handle sliding into 3rd base or doing a roundoff back handspring.
Everything can hurt you: sharp scissors, fast cars, loaded guns, roller coasters, boat rides, carving knives, snakes, spiders, partially cooked chicken, pedophiles, street drugs, snowboarding, scuba diving, roller blading, boys, illness, disease, pointy objects, wild animals, Red #5. It’s my responsibility to make sure that you don’t die – not that you have a good time – but just that you live to see another day.
Don’t hate me for getting you braces in your teens. Look around – 70% of your friends have braces and their parents are paying for them. One day you’ll want straight teeth, but then only 1% of your peers will have braces and you’ll have to deliver pizzas at night to pay the $5,000 orthodontist bill.
I would buy you the world if I could. So my prayer is that I have just enough money to buy you most of what you want, but not enough to buy you everything you want because it will only set you up for future disappointment. And I’m not supporting this Abercrombie habit forever.
When we don’t have internet access or provide you with a laptop computer, iPod Touch, iPhone or webcam, it’s not because we’re poor. It’s because the internet is a scary place. You might visit some disgusting website, or even worse, your boyfriend might want to FaceTime with you after midnight.
Never let boys talk you into sitting in the back row of a movie theater. There’s only one reason that they want to sit there and it’s not to show off their superhuman eyesight.
Don’t let boys talk you into doing anything that you’re not ready to do because, let’s be honest, you’re the one who will face the consequences, and they’ll just high-five their buddies in the locker room at your expense.
In summary, boys can be bad. Try to avoid them until your twenties.
Yes, I know that so-in-so’s mother let her stay out later. And yes, I also know that so-in-so’s mother is letting her go to the party. I don’t care. I’ll give you the same response that’s been used for generations: I’m not her mother.
Go to college. I know that when you’re 18-years-old all you want to do is earn your own money and buy your own stuff, but your college years will be the best years of your life. It’s the small window of time when you’re old enough to have no curfew but young enough to have no mortgage.
Believe in yourself and others will believe in you, too.
When you are at a party and you turn down cocaine, I promise not to be mad at you for drinking a couple of beers. Probably.
Don’t get a tattoo. I don’t care how symbolic you think it is now, because when you’re 87-years-old, they all look ridiculous.
Tequila shots are never ever a good idea.
Don’t ever dance on a speaker box in a nightclub. Those girls are desperately seeking attention. They usually get it, but it’s the wrong type. And sometimes you can see their underwear.
If you go anywhere without hair done, make-up on or wearing some old sweats, you will see at least one person you know. I’m not trying to deter you, I’m just letting you know the facts.
Don’t be the girl who drinks until you puke or pass out. Not only will people make fun of you the next day, they’ll remember it forever. And 20 years later while shopping with your mother-in-law, the last thing you want to do is bump into an old sorority sister and relive the infamous hunch punch party.
I’m not your friend. There are 6 billion people in this world who can be your friend, and only one person who can be your mother. I’m just trying to do my job.
To my son:
Please don’t knock up some bimbo.
Love, Mom
Thursday, August 16, 2012
New Mommy Cliff Notes...
by Brooke of "Crazy Mama Drama" (Mamapedia.com)
Look, I may be very far from a June Cleaver-esque mama, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love being a mom. There is nothing in the world better than the feeling I get when I am the one my daughter looks to for comfort, when she holds me tight. It makes me feel complete. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that being a mom is the hardest job I have ever had.
I think part of my difficulty in adjusting to mommyhood is that I had no idea what to expect. I wish someone had given me a head’s up, but they didn’t. I have been learning ‘the hard way’ for the last sixteen months. Here are just some of the things I’ve learned…
- People aren’t lying when they say you better learn to live on a few hours sleep. Invest in some white strips because you have no chance of surviving without coffee.
- You will not be able to wear white until your kid is 12 years old.
- The bathroom-a place you used to brush your teeth and pee-will now become your
favorite place to get away for “me time.” It will become the only place where you can get a moment of peace; a place that will shelter you from the storm going on downstairs when your husband tells your little angel, “No more “Yo Gabba Gabba, it’s bedtime.” Trust me, you will grow to seek solace in your bathroom. - Dogs are totally effective as vacuum cleaners for after dinner messes on the floor
- Remember that place you and your husband used to go all the time on those wonderful little things called ‘dates?’ That place where you sit in the dark eating popcorn and watch movies on a big screen? Oh yeah, a movie theater. Yep, you’re not going there again for a LONG time.
- Rock, Paper, Scissors is the only logical way to choose who deals with baby diarrhea.
- You will learn that toys strewn on the floor are little minefields, and you will become an expert at avoiding them. Just know that the second you let your guard down, you will surely step on a princess building block, Barbie accessory or a plastic chunk of cheese from the play kitchen. And let me tell you, those plastic little suckers hurt!
- No matter how many hours you spend childproofing your home, your toddler’s built-in Dangerous Object Detector will lead her to a pen cap that you dropped behind the couch three years ago.
- One of the worst feelings in the world is when you are changing a poop filled diaper and you reach over and find out that you are out of wipes. Nothing quite matches that sinking feeling when you realize you have to pick up that baby and wander the house in search of a substitute wipe.
- At some point you’re bound to find yourself agreeing with Sponge Bob, DJ Lance or Ming Ming.
- Remember that thing I said about no chance of surviving without coffee? Ditto for wine.
- Being a mom to a toddler is pretty similar to working in a psych ward. It’s not out of the ordinary to look over at your kid and watch them crack up while staring at a blank wall. You become completely immune to the sound of screaming. Objects are thrown at you on a daily basis.
- No matter how much it sucks to have a kid sometimes, all the aggravation gets erased with one drooly, goofy smile.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
August Events
Sorry my post was late it was a bit hectic for me since I started a new job! Please bear with me I will try to get next month's events earlier! Don't forget BACK TO SCHOOL AUG.20!!!! Good Luck to all the students and let's make it a great year!!!! and a special Good luck to my little munchkin which starts Kindergarten this year!!!
Miami Spice Restaurant Month
During the months of August and September, many of Miami's finest restaurants offer lunches and dinners at low fixed prices. This is a great chance to try something new each day and save money at the same time!
Miami Salsa Congress
August 1-5, 2012
Showing 80 live showcases, plenty of salsa dancing for participants, and dance workshops with the world's best instructors.
Miami/Bahamas Goombay Festival
August 2-5, 2012
One of the largest Black heritage festivals in the U.S. Enjoy colorful costumed junkanoo groups, music, arts, crafts and food.
Movies on the Plaza: The Muppets
Sushi Fun for Everyone
Kidgits Back to School Event
Brazilian Film Festival
August 17-25, 2012
Showcases more than 40 acclaimed Brazilian films and presents international guests including directors, producers, actors and film distributors.
Jungle Island's Aloha Polynesian Luau Show & Feast
International Ballet Festival of Miami
August 24 - September 16, 2012
Featuring performances by world-renowned dance companies from Europe, and North, Central and South America.
Free SAT/PSAT workshop
Viernes Culturales / Cultural Fridays
August 31, 2012
Free monthly cultural event and street fair on the last Friday of each month showcasing music, dance, poetry, and the visual arts.
Bridal & Quince Showcase & Bootcamp Free Admission
Miami Spice Restaurant Month
During the months of August and September, many of Miami's finest restaurants offer lunches and dinners at low fixed prices. This is a great chance to try something new each day and save money at the same time!
Miami Salsa Congress
August 1-5, 2012
Showing 80 live showcases, plenty of salsa dancing for participants, and dance workshops with the world's best instructors.
Miami/Bahamas Goombay Festival
August 2-5, 2012
One of the largest Black heritage festivals in the U.S. Enjoy colorful costumed junkanoo groups, music, arts, crafts and food.
Movies on the Plaza: The Muppets
Thursday, Aug 9 8:00p
atBrickell World Plaza,Miami,FL
Movies on the Plaza is a free, family-friendly event sponsored by Brickell World Plaza each month.
Sushi Fun for Everyone
Thursday, Aug 9 6:00p to 9:00p
atFairchild Tropical Botanic Garden,Miami,FL
Round up your family and friends to enjoy a class designed to bring everyone to the table. Learn how to make sushi like they do in homes all over Japan. Let Johnson and his two lovely daughters teach you the tricks to making sushi. No specialty equipment required. This will be a hands-on class. At the end of class students will enjoy the sushi that they have prepared during the class.
Kidgits Back to School Event
Saturday, Aug 11 2:00p to 4:00p
atMiami International Mall,Miami,FL
Get ready to take on the new school year at the Kidgits Back to School Event on
August 11 from 2 pm - 4 pm, at Center Court.
Summer might be ending soon, but the fun is just beginning! Join us as we say farewell to summer and hello to another great school year! You won’t want to miss all the great activities and giveaways
August 11 from 2 pm - 4 pm, at Center Court.
Summer might be ending soon, but the fun is just beginning! Join us as we say farewell to summer and hello to another great school year! You won’t want to miss all the great activities and giveaways
Brazilian Film Festival
August 17-25, 2012
Showcases more than 40 acclaimed Brazilian films and presents international guests including directors, producers, actors and film distributors.
As part of the Deering Estate's annual FEE-FREE "P.L.A.Y." DAYS, guests can enjoy free admission to the Deering Estate at Cutler on the following Saturdays: AUGUST 18 & SEPTEMBER 15, 2012 from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm.
Bring your family and friends and enjoy complimentary admission as well as hands on eco-art activities, science discovery programs, and historic house tours – all for free!
Bring your family and friends and enjoy complimentary admission as well as hands on eco-art activities, science discovery programs, and historic house tours – all for free!
Saturday, Aug 18 10:00a
atJungle Island,Watson Island,FL
Park Hours: 10am – 6pm
Buffet: 12pm – 2pm
Join Jungle Island on August 18 for a one-of-a-kind “Luau Bash” featuring a Polynesian Show with live music, colorful costumes, hula dancing and a delectable tropical buffet. Plus, you can take part in a wide variety of other activities including limbo contests, fire dancers, a Tahiti water slide and more!
Buffet: 12pm – 2pm
Join Jungle Island on August 18 for a one-of-a-kind “Luau Bash” featuring a Polynesian Show with live music, colorful costumes, hula dancing and a delectable tropical buffet. Plus, you can take part in a wide variety of other activities including limbo contests, fire dancers, a Tahiti water slide and more!
International Ballet Festival of Miami
August 24 - September 16, 2012
Featuring performances by world-renowned dance companies from Europe, and North, Central and South America.
Free SAT/PSAT workshop
Saturday, Aug 25 10:00a to 1:15p
Viernes Culturales / Cultural Fridays
August 31, 2012
Free monthly cultural event and street fair on the last Friday of each month showcasing music, dance, poetry, and the visual arts.
Bridal & Quince Showcase & Bootcamp Free Admission
Thursday, Aug 30 6:00p
at94th Aero Squadron,Miami,FL
Read more here: http://events.miamiherald.com/miami_fl/events/show/271653227-bridal-quince-showcase-bootcamp-free-admission#storylink=cpy
Miami Home Design And Remodeling Show ( Home Show )
Friday, Aug 31 6:00p to 10:30p
atMiami Beach Convention Center,Miami Beach,FL
Miami Home Show
August 31 - September 4, 2012
Miami Beach Convention Center
IDEA@thebass Family Day
Sunday, Aug 26 2:00p to 4:00p
atBass Museum of Art,Miami Beach,FL
Join in the Summer fun at the Bass Museum of Art's Family Day! These creative afternoons are full of exciting activities for the whole family: art projects, scavenger hunts, preschool art station and free prizes!
at94th Aero Squadron,Miami,FL
Read more here: http://events.miamiherald.com/miami_fl/events/show/271653227-bridal-quince-showcase-bootcamp-free-admission#storylink=cpy
Miami Home Design And Remodeling Show ( Home Show )
Friday, Aug 31 6:00p to 10:30p
atMiami Beach Convention Center,Miami Beach,FL
Miami Home Show
August 31 - September 4, 2012
Miami Beach Convention Center
IDEA@thebass Family Day
Sunday, Aug 26 2:00p to 4:00p
atBass Museum of Art,Miami Beach,FL
Join in the Summer fun at the Bass Museum of Art's Family Day! These creative afternoons are full of exciting activities for the whole family: art projects, scavenger hunts, preschool art station and free prizes!
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