Tuesday, August 7, 2012
The Mother's Promise
http://www.mamapedia.com/voices/the-mother-tick-s-promise
THE MOTHER’S PROMISE:
I, _________________, do solemnly swear to fulfill to the best of my sleep-depraved (yes, depraved) ability this covenant between me and my child(ren) 24/7, 365 days a year.
I will strive to create days that are filled with laughter, bonding, play, new experiences, learning, nutritious meals and snacks and on-schedule rest for all. I will make playdates with other mamas and babes, for they keep us all sane.
Yet if there be a day filled with crying, sibling rivalry, boredom, junk food and failed naps, I will accept this, and work for a better tomorrow. I will not consume an entire bag of M&Ms/chips/gummy bears to erase my pain, as that will merely expand my a$%. I will rely via text on the comfort of my friends, and get the kids out of doors immediately. And if there be rain and we cannot go outside, I will not feel persecuted by the universe. I will devise another plan, even if that plan consists only of a visit to Target.
I will endeavor to be frugal, in the hallowed halls of Target as well as in other stores. I will not be led into temptation by an $8 box of organic cookies at Whole Paycheck. I will employ the aid of the Internet, magazines and word-of-mouth for free or low cost things to do.
I will avoid the Land of No, turning instead to the land of positive requests. I will demonstrate the wisdom to empathize, not chastise, to tell, not yell, to supervise, not patronize and to breathe, not seethe. Thank you, Jesse Jackson.
I will schedule myself time to exercise so as to avoid bitchiness and the 4-months-pregnant belly that necessitates a new wardrobe. I will have the sense to schedule personal time for myself at regular intervals. And if this personal time come not soon enough, and I feel desperation creeping in, I will make a plan, enlist childcare, don exercise wear or cocktail wear and leave my residence.
In case of meltdowns, I will remain calm and firm. I will not get sucked into the tornado into which my child has morphed. I will give him/her time alone or hold him/her as the situation merits. I will keep him/her from breaking bones by stealthily placing a blanket or towel nearby as he thrashes like a junkie with the DTs.
I will, come Sunday, organize a list of dinners for the upcoming week so that I am not a stressed out mess every day at 5:00 p.m.
I will get as much sleep as possible. If I plan to rest, I will take this rest, AS SOON AS THE CHILDREN GO DOWN FOR THEIR NAP. I will not clean, write, make phone calls, answer e-mails, search the Web, or go astray on the pages of Facebook, only to find that my unpredictable napper has awoken earlier than estimated and stolen my sleep. I will set an alarm if need be, so that I can putter about or prep dinner(!) after some power zzz’s.
I will realize that potty training is a process and that, long though it may take, my children will not cast their first presidential election ballot in diapers.
I will enlist the power of the elephant-in-the-armoire, the TV, in moderation. And I will not be afraid to do so, for PBS is good.
I will endeavor to devote some energy to my relationship with my husband so that we might enjoy our co-existence as husband and wife, and not only mother and father.
I will remain educated and up–to-date on the latest scholarship and ideas in parenting. I will strive to be more June Cleaver than Roseanne. I will refuse to, however, beat myself up for the forgot to do’s, could not do under the circumstances and cannot do’s. I will remember that though I may fail, though I may yell, though my kids might watch over an hour of Caillou daily, I am still a good mother.
Bow. exit stage left.
THE MOTHER’S PROMISE:
I, _________________, do solemnly swear to fulfill to the best of my sleep-depraved (yes, depraved) ability this covenant between me and my child(ren) 24/7, 365 days a year.
I will strive to create days that are filled with laughter, bonding, play, new experiences, learning, nutritious meals and snacks and on-schedule rest for all. I will make playdates with other mamas and babes, for they keep us all sane.
Yet if there be a day filled with crying, sibling rivalry, boredom, junk food and failed naps, I will accept this, and work for a better tomorrow. I will not consume an entire bag of M&Ms/chips/gummy bears to erase my pain, as that will merely expand my a$%. I will rely via text on the comfort of my friends, and get the kids out of doors immediately. And if there be rain and we cannot go outside, I will not feel persecuted by the universe. I will devise another plan, even if that plan consists only of a visit to Target.
I will endeavor to be frugal, in the hallowed halls of Target as well as in other stores. I will not be led into temptation by an $8 box of organic cookies at Whole Paycheck. I will employ the aid of the Internet, magazines and word-of-mouth for free or low cost things to do.
I will avoid the Land of No, turning instead to the land of positive requests. I will demonstrate the wisdom to empathize, not chastise, to tell, not yell, to supervise, not patronize and to breathe, not seethe. Thank you, Jesse Jackson.
I will schedule myself time to exercise so as to avoid bitchiness and the 4-months-pregnant belly that necessitates a new wardrobe. I will have the sense to schedule personal time for myself at regular intervals. And if this personal time come not soon enough, and I feel desperation creeping in, I will make a plan, enlist childcare, don exercise wear or cocktail wear and leave my residence.
In case of meltdowns, I will remain calm and firm. I will not get sucked into the tornado into which my child has morphed. I will give him/her time alone or hold him/her as the situation merits. I will keep him/her from breaking bones by stealthily placing a blanket or towel nearby as he thrashes like a junkie with the DTs.
I will, come Sunday, organize a list of dinners for the upcoming week so that I am not a stressed out mess every day at 5:00 p.m.
I will get as much sleep as possible. If I plan to rest, I will take this rest, AS SOON AS THE CHILDREN GO DOWN FOR THEIR NAP. I will not clean, write, make phone calls, answer e-mails, search the Web, or go astray on the pages of Facebook, only to find that my unpredictable napper has awoken earlier than estimated and stolen my sleep. I will set an alarm if need be, so that I can putter about or prep dinner(!) after some power zzz’s.
I will realize that potty training is a process and that, long though it may take, my children will not cast their first presidential election ballot in diapers.
I will enlist the power of the elephant-in-the-armoire, the TV, in moderation. And I will not be afraid to do so, for PBS is good.
I will endeavor to devote some energy to my relationship with my husband so that we might enjoy our co-existence as husband and wife, and not only mother and father.
I will remain educated and up–to-date on the latest scholarship and ideas in parenting. I will strive to be more June Cleaver than Roseanne. I will refuse to, however, beat myself up for the forgot to do’s, could not do under the circumstances and cannot do’s. I will remember that though I may fail, though I may yell, though my kids might watch over an hour of Caillou daily, I am still a good mother.
Bow. exit stage left.
Like Daughter, Like Mother?
Being the mom of a girl is tough. I knew it was going to be. Boys are
different than girls in so many ways. My oldest daughter, MK, seems to
have developed opinions earlier than my sons did about—well—pretty much
everything! From what she wears, to what I wear, she doesn’t hold back.
God forbid I don a black t-shirt two days in a row…
“Mommy, you wore that yesterday. You should wear a rainbow shirt. Rainbows are pretty. Your shirt is ugly.”
She’s a born fashion critic, which is somewhat humbling, but not my greatest concern. My biggest worry lies with the future—specifically, early adolescence and the social pitfalls that can accompany those years. How do I equip my daughters to face hurtful situations with resilience?
My fears are born out of two places—my own painful moments as a child and my professional experiences. As a former elementary school principal and teacher, I’ve had a front row seat to the ugliness that can unfold between girls. I know the issues of cattiness and cliques can begin as early as the first grade and are usually in full swing by the end of the primary years, but my daughter’s only four. I thought I had a few more years. Turns out, I was wrong.
The other day, while attending a program at MK’s preschool, I witnessed an episode that provoked a visceral reaction in me. We were just arriving as two of MK’s classmates—girls—were posing for a picture together. Not realizing that she was interrupting, when MK ran over to say hello, one of the girls shoved her away.
“This picture is only for us. We’re best friends. You aren’t.”
While I was busy picking my jaw up off the floor, MK turned away from the girls towards a mirrored wall. I could see her reflection. Her sweet smile was gone, and her eyes welled up with tears.
She was hurt—I was crushed.
I’m not proud of my initial instincts in that moment. Not only did I feel helpless, but I was instantly catapulted back to my own hurtful girlhood experiences. Memories of a wickedly mean classmate crashed into me like a ton of bricks, causing my stomach to lurch into my throat. I was angry and my mind was racing.
How dare this child treat my girl like that! Why didn’t the mother taking the picture reprimand her? Who the heck do these people think they are? If they think I’m going to just stand here and allow someone to hurt my daughter, they’ve got another thing coming!
Wait—get a hold of yourself.
There I stood—crazy thoughts flying through my mind—when I realized my daughter had already shaken it off and moved on to another group of friends. Thank goodness I was able to suppress my mama-bear desire to unleash in a tirade of fury.
Reflecting upon that incident makes me realize how difficult it will be to watch my daughters navigate hurtful situations. One might think I’d have more of a ‘been there, done that’ kind of attitude. I’ve already gone through this with my two now-teenage sons, but the girls are different for me. I’ve noticed that I’m quicker to relate my daughter’s experiences with my own simply because we share the common link of being female.
So, I’m bracing myself. Getting my three daughters through the pitfalls of girlhood is going to be challenging. I know the hurts are inevitable, but hopefully they’ll give way to lessons about the importance of moving past bruised feelings to happier places. That’s what breeds resilience and resilience is an important life skill—one, apparently, I’m still learning.
What do you think is the best way to react when you see your daughter being hurt by a classmate?
“Mommy, you wore that yesterday. You should wear a rainbow shirt. Rainbows are pretty. Your shirt is ugly.”
She’s a born fashion critic, which is somewhat humbling, but not my greatest concern. My biggest worry lies with the future—specifically, early adolescence and the social pitfalls that can accompany those years. How do I equip my daughters to face hurtful situations with resilience?
My fears are born out of two places—my own painful moments as a child and my professional experiences. As a former elementary school principal and teacher, I’ve had a front row seat to the ugliness that can unfold between girls. I know the issues of cattiness and cliques can begin as early as the first grade and are usually in full swing by the end of the primary years, but my daughter’s only four. I thought I had a few more years. Turns out, I was wrong.
The other day, while attending a program at MK’s preschool, I witnessed an episode that provoked a visceral reaction in me. We were just arriving as two of MK’s classmates—girls—were posing for a picture together. Not realizing that she was interrupting, when MK ran over to say hello, one of the girls shoved her away.
“This picture is only for us. We’re best friends. You aren’t.”
While I was busy picking my jaw up off the floor, MK turned away from the girls towards a mirrored wall. I could see her reflection. Her sweet smile was gone, and her eyes welled up with tears.
She was hurt—I was crushed.
I’m not proud of my initial instincts in that moment. Not only did I feel helpless, but I was instantly catapulted back to my own hurtful girlhood experiences. Memories of a wickedly mean classmate crashed into me like a ton of bricks, causing my stomach to lurch into my throat. I was angry and my mind was racing.
How dare this child treat my girl like that! Why didn’t the mother taking the picture reprimand her? Who the heck do these people think they are? If they think I’m going to just stand here and allow someone to hurt my daughter, they’ve got another thing coming!
Wait—get a hold of yourself.
There I stood—crazy thoughts flying through my mind—when I realized my daughter had already shaken it off and moved on to another group of friends. Thank goodness I was able to suppress my mama-bear desire to unleash in a tirade of fury.
Reflecting upon that incident makes me realize how difficult it will be to watch my daughters navigate hurtful situations. One might think I’d have more of a ‘been there, done that’ kind of attitude. I’ve already gone through this with my two now-teenage sons, but the girls are different for me. I’ve noticed that I’m quicker to relate my daughter’s experiences with my own simply because we share the common link of being female.
So, I’m bracing myself. Getting my three daughters through the pitfalls of girlhood is going to be challenging. I know the hurts are inevitable, but hopefully they’ll give way to lessons about the importance of moving past bruised feelings to happier places. That’s what breeds resilience and resilience is an important life skill—one, apparently, I’m still learning.
What do you think is the best way to react when you see your daughter being hurt by a classmate?
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Miami Spice 2012: The Good, the Great, and the Grudging, Part One
http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/shortorder/2012/07/miami_spice_2012_the_good_the_2.php
http://www.ilovemiamispice.com/
Miami Spice runs from August 1 - September 30, 2012
http://www.ilovemiamispice.com/
Miami Spice runs from August 1 - September 30, 2012
Birthday Parties at Books & Books
Birthday Party Packages
At my tenth birthday party, I ditched my guests and huddled in a corner to 
read my
favorite gift, a copy of Norton Juster’s The Phantom Tollbooth. If only
my parents and I had the idea to throw a book party, I wouldn’t have
been so anti-social. This memory, along with my continued love of books
(and parties) has led me to create the Books & Books Birthday Party
Packages. With three different packages to choose from, there is
something for every need (and budget). Encourage your child’s love of
reading! Celebrate in our gorgeous Mediterranean style book shop! Let us
worry about all of the details! Books & Books hopes to help
celebrate your child’s love of reading. There is nothing like a life
full of books.
read my
favorite gift, a copy of Norton Juster’s The Phantom Tollbooth. If only
my parents and I had the idea to throw a book party, I wouldn’t have
been so anti-social. This memory, along with my continued love of books
(and parties) has led me to create the Books & Books Birthday Party
Packages. With three different packages to choose from, there is
something for every need (and budget). Encourage your child’s love of
reading! Celebrate in our gorgeous Mediterranean style book shop! Let us
worry about all of the details! Books & Books hopes to help
celebrate your child’s love of reading. There is nothing like a life
full of books.
Becky Quiroga Curtis
Children's Book Buyer & Event Coordinator
For more information on any of the packages listed below, please email Parties@booksandbooks.com
The Bookworm Package
This
package has all you need to throw a simple party. No bells, no
whistles, just pure book-loving fun. Celebrate your child's special day
with stories and crafts, lunch and cake, family and friends. We take
care of everything; all you need to do is show up.
This package includes:
- Private story time and take-home craft for each child based on one of four books
- Ages 1-6:
- Don’t let the Pigeon Drive the Bus
- The Cat in the Hat
- The Very Hungry Caterpillar
- Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
- Ages 7-11 (includes book discussion & trivia game):
- Magic Tree House
- Junie B. Jones
- The Phantom Tollbooth
- Percy Jackson
- Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches with chips, or individual pizzas; lemonade or juice box for 12 children
- Cupcakes and candles
- All paper goods (plates, napkins, utensils, etc.)
- Use of courtyard space
- Decorations (balloons, streamers, etc.)
- Personalized oversized birthday card
- Books & Books gift registry
- Personal Bookseller Host / Hostess
- 20% off any purchase made the day of your party (applies only to the parents of the birthday child)
- 1 hour of complimentary parking, for any vehicle in attendance
The Bestseller Package
With a
few more choices, this package allows more flexibility. We still do all the
work; you just have to make some decisions. Would you like to be outside in our
lovely courtyard? Or inside surrounded by hundreds of books? Either way, we’re
here to help make your child’s party a memorable event.
This package includes:
- Private story time and take-home craft for each child based on one of eight books:
- Ages 1-6:
- Don’t let the Pigeon Drive the Bus
- The Cat in the Hat
- The Very Hungry Caterpillar
- Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
- Fancy Nancy
- Where the Wild Things Are
- Madeline
- Curious George
- Ages 7-11 (includes book discussion & trivia
game):
- Magic Tree House
- Junie B. Jones
- The Phantom Tollbooth
- Percy Jackson
- Charlotte’s Web
- Diary of a Wimpy Kid
- Charlie & the Chocolate Factory
- Harry Potter
- Choice of peanut butter & jelly sandwiches with chips, or individual pizzas; lemonade or juice box for 12 children
- Cupcakes or personalized Standard cake with candles (A Standard cake is a single-layer ¼ sheet cake available in your choice of chocolate or vanilla).
- All paper goods (plates, napkins, utensils, etc.)
- Choice of courtyard or indoor space
- Decorations (balloons, streamers, etc.)
- Personalized oversized birthday card
- Themed book for the birthday child
- 12 themed invitations
- Books & Books gift registry
- Personal Bookseller Host / Hostess
- 20% off any purchase made the day of your party (applies only to the parent of the birthday child)
- 1 hour of complimentary parking, for any vehicle in attendance
The Bibliophile Package
Imagine The Very Hungry Caterpillar showing up at
your child’s party to eat cake and take photos! This package includes
everything you need to give your child the book party of a lifetime. We’re so
excited about this package; we’re including gift cards for all children in
attendance, as well as a special gift for the birthday child. With so many
options, everyone in attendance is sure to be satisfied. We promise your child
will remember this party forever.
This package includes:
- Private story time and take-home craft for each child based on any one book chosen from the list of available costumes.
- Character costume making an appearance just for your child
- Choice of peanut butter & jelly sandwiches with chips, individual pizzas, hot dogs with chips, or grilled cheese with fruit cups; lemonade or juice box for 12 children
- Cupcakes or personalized Signature cake with candles (A Signature cake is a double-layer ¼ sheet cake available in an array of flavors and fillings)
- All paper goods (plates, napkins, utensils, etc.)
- Choice of courtyard or indoor space
- Decorations (balloons, streamers, etc.)
- Personalized oversized birthday card
- 12 themed invitations
- Themed book for the birthday child
- A $5 Books & Books gift card for each child in attendance; plus a 10% discount
- Books & Books gift registry
- Personal Bookseller Host / Hostess
- 20% off any purchase made the day of your party (applies only to the parent of the birthday child)
- 1 hour of complimentary parking, for any vehicle in attendance
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