Moms and Dads…Don’t See Eye To Eye on Raising Your Kids?

by Harry of “Fearless Parenting” (Mamapedia.com)

What do parents fight more about than sex or money? Ask any parent: It’s how to raise their children. The dilemma is that while both parents love their children, while they may even have agreed before hand how to raise their children, while they may have read every parenting book ever published since 1950, nobody really knows what kind of parent they’re going to be until they are actually confronted with a smiling, gurgling baby. Or a thirteen year-old daughter who is demanding a $1,700 Burberry purse. Or a fifteen year old son who at 2AM is standing intoxicated at the front door. With a policeman.

Then all agreements are off the table. The couple suddenly sees each other as they really are:
The father is no longer the gentle caring new age male she fell in love with, but a caveman who believes his kids are sucking him dry and would toss them to the wolves at the first opportunity.
And the mother is no longer the sexy thing he married, but a delusional, gullible, mother hen who believes her poor 18 year-old baby can do wrong, even if he’s in handcuffs.

Not surprisingly, disagreements about how to raise kids is one of the leading causes of stress in a marriage and leads to a number of divorces. But it doesn’t have to be.

Here are five things moms need to understand about dads:

1. Dads show affection differently than moms. A woman will hug, cuddle, and just watch her baby sleep. Then dad will walk in, hang the baby by her ankles, tickle her, toss in the air all the while the baby is screaming with delight. Mom of course is groping for a bottle of Xanax as she watches. But all this is just dad loving on his baby.
2. Dads have this genetic thing about providing for their family. They worry all the time about money. So while you think he’s being stupid by freaking out about the cost of diapers or formula—and later, college and cars—what’s really happening is he’s worried sick about providing.
3. Dads want their children, especially their sons, to grow up. It’s a mom’s tendency to hand out money and comfort to children like it’s candy, whereas a dad will demand their children go to work. Like he did. When he was ten.
4. Dads say “no” more often. “No” to new clothes, “no” to a new BMW, “no” to sending a teen to summer in Europe, “no” to sleeping in on a school day. Sometimes, it’s the only word they’ll say to a thirteen year-old for six months.
5. Dads aren’t as worried about the kids as moms are. He won’t understand why you’re up at 2AM worried by the fact your son has no date for the prom. Getting into a fight over the fact he’s not worried enough is pointless. Dads simply believe things will work out without a parent’s help. Moms know better.

Now here are five things dads need to know about moms:

1. Moms don’t care what the cost is to feed, clothe, transport, educate, and tutor their children. They hand out money to teenagers like its tissue paper. They are wired to give their kids everything they want and need, and to suggest they are spending too much on the children is a sure fire way for hell to rain down on a husband.
2. Moms think about their children’s happiness all the time. If you are lying on the sidewalk unconscious and bleeding from a piano falling on you, they’ll still be more worried about their daughter not making the school’s drill team. It’s easier for moms to stop breathing than it is to stop worrying about their kids.
3. Moms feel sorry for their kids. They are convinced their children are working too hard in school, that teachers don’t understand them, that they risk social harm because they don’t have an iPhone and they cannot possibly get a part time job as that would mean life would totally un-fun and so you, dad, need to raise their allowance.
4. Moms don’t believe in discipline. That’s why their greatest threat to their kids is “I’m going to tell your father,” and often her kids can talk her out of telling Dad anything. She will be upset when you lay down the law because others clearly have no understanding how wonderful her child is, despite the fact she was caught cheating by three teachers.
5. Moms say “yes” to everything. This is why kids will always ask their mothers instead of their fathers for money, for a gold card, for a thousand-dollar new purse, for a later curfew. The only time a mom will say “no” is when her husband begs her to quit saying “yes.”

This yin and yang of parenthood is really the best reason I can think of for couples to stay married. Children don’t need to hear “yes” all the time.

And being told “no” twenty-five times a day can lead a child to develop some serious anger issues. Children need the fun play of dad as well as the nurturing of a mom. They need the discipline of a dad as well as the un-judgmental support of mom.

The fact is, while tension between mom and dad is inevitable, it’s worked for thousands and thousands of years. Both parents just need to realize a healthy child needs what both parents are genetically equipped to give: love in their own way.

How To Choose The Right Pediatrician For Your Baby

BY Abby Wyatt  (askmissa.com)

I remember the fear I felt leaving the hospital after I had our first daughter like it was yesterday! The hospital was the nice place with all the nice people that knew how to take care of babies, and I did not know how to take care of babies yet. I remember being so scared putting her in the car and getting on the highway that I sat in the back with her (as almost every new mom does) and hovered to watch her every breath and make sure she was still alive. That fear and desire to protect our kids spills over to finding the right pediatrician because let’s face it – this is the person that is going to calm your fears, deal with your freak outs, and above all they are going to care for your child, so you want to make sure it is the right fit and you feel comfortable.

There are several steps to take to make sure you find a doctor that is right for you. The easiest way to start is by asking your local friends and family how they feel about their pediatrician and what it is that they like the most and least about the practice.  This can quickly narrow (or add to) your list and help you on your search.

Once you decide on a couple of practices you also want to make sure you sit down with the doctor and talk about what is important to you before you decide to move forward. Take some time to think about what you are looking for in a predication, what characteristics they must possess, and what is less important. Be sure to ask the questions that you really want answers to, and don’t worry about offending him or her, because chances are they have heard it all before. This can also be a great way to find out if it’s a good fit; if they are easily offended or do not react in a way that you’re comfortable with than maybe it’s not the right choice for you. Here are a few things to consider asking:

• How many pediatricians are in the practice?
• Can I get a same day appointment when my child is sick?
• What is your opinion of vaccinations, and if I choose to limit the vaccines or not to vaccinate my child is that something you are okay with?
• How do you feel about breastfeeding? While many mothers do nurse their children there are also as many that choose not to or their body makes that choice for them.  You want to make sure your doctor will not pass judgment or make you feel guilty if you choose not to breastfeed your child.
• Does the office have Saturday hours?

The harder side to this process comes when you decide that it’s time to break up with your pediatrician. I have had to do this once with a pediatrician and once with a pediatric dermatologist and I have to say that in one situation I conducted myself in an appropriate manner and with the other I just dropped them like a bad habit and moved on without so much as a good-bye. Having said that, I felt much better when I respectfully communicate my frustrations and let the doctor know that I did not feel that it was the right fit and we would be changing practices. There were no hard feelings and I have not given it a second thought since then, so if you are worried about having that conversation don’t stress out! Just like any other relationship, people break up everyday and I am sure your doctor has been dumped before and knows how to handle the situation. Don’t ever feel guilty for doing what is right for you and your family.

Starting a new relationship with a pediatrician is important and it can be difficult to find someone you feel comfortable with so just remember to be honest and do what is best for you and for your child. Only you know what’s best.

Good luck and happy (doctor) hunting!

12 things not to do if you want healthy, good-looking Skin

By Stephanie Watson (webmd.com)

Your skin is the largest organ in your body, and it takes a lot of abuse. Constantly exposed to the elements, your epidermis (and the layers beneath) can really take a beating, especially if you're guilty of the following skin sins.

Want to preserve your skin? Here's what not to do.

1. Get Overexposed

There was a time when people thought it was perfectly fine to slather their bodies in baby oil and spend entire days baking in the sun. Over the years, dermatologists set us straight, telling us in no uncertain terms that sun worshipping will only put us on the path to premature aging -- and skin cancer.
"If there's one thing in the world that one can do to avoid the ravages of injury to the skin, it's avoid the sun," says Norman Levine, MD, a dermatologist in Tucson, Arizona and the author of Skin Healthy: Everyone's Guide to Great Skin."The sun has effects on the cells that renew the skin, and when those cells are injured irreparably you get skin aging and you are more prone to skin cancer."
You can tell right away when someone's been spending a lot of time in the sun, says Jennifer Stein, MD, PhD, assistant professor of dermatology at NYU Langone Medical Center. "Their skin looks very wrinkly and is covered in lots of brown spots, and that's from years and years of sun damage."

2. Skimp on Sunscreen

Your sunscreen probably isn't shielding you from sun damage because most of us don't apply the shot-glass-sized amount (1 ounce) of SPF 30 or higher sunscreen -- the minimum experts say we need to protect us.
"Most people under-apply by one-fourth. Whatever you're putting on is probably too little, so at least double it," says Jeffrey Dover, MD, FRCPC, associate clinical professor of dermatology at Yale University School of Medicine] and director of SkinCare Physicians in Chestnut Hill, Mass. Many people also don't apply sunscreen every two hours as dermatologists recommend.
If you’re going to be outside, don’t forget to wear protective clothing and a wide-brimmed hat, and seek the shade, as well as wearing sunscreen (and reapplying it as needed). Then your skin is as protected as possible.

3. Head to the Tanning Bed

Think a tanning bed is safer than being outside in the sun? Think again.
Tanning beds give you a concentrated burst of ultraviolet A and ultraviolet B light, which causes skin aging and could triple your risk for melanoma skin cancer. "Never go into a tanning parlor," Levine says. "There couldn't be a worse thing to do to your skin."

4. Smoke

If the risk of lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease, and stroke aren't enough to scare you off cigarettes, how about all those wrinkles you'll get?
Study after study shows just how extensively smoking ages the skin. "It does a lot of what the sun does. It just does it inside [the body] instead of outside," Dover says. "It makes the skin weak, tired, and listless looking."
If that weren't enough, smoking also yellows the skin, interferes with its blood supply, and slows wound healing. "So if you injure your skin it may not heal as well if you're a smoker," Levine says.

5. Use the Wrong Cleanser

A big mistake people make when they wash their face is using a harsh soap that's meant for their body. Keep the bar soap in the shower. Use only a mild cleanser for your face, especially if you have sensitive skin, Stein advises.
If your skin is acne-prone, make sure the cleanser you use is oil-free and noncomedogenic, which means it does not promote acne. People whose skin is on the dry side should follow up each wash by applying a layer of lotion (preferably one that contains sunscreen) to seal in the skin's moisture.

6. Scrub Your Skin

Washing your face is a good idea. Scrubbing it isn't. 
"Scrubbing can be very irritating to the skin," cautions Stein. "A lot of times people who have acne will feel like they have to scrub the skin to make it better, but that can actually worsen the acne."
Be gentle to your skin. Wash your face using a soft, circular motion.

7. Pop Your Pimples

Whenever you feel tempted to pop a pimple, control the urge. "Picking can actually make the acne worse and lead to permanent scarring," Stein says. "Better to leave it alone."
Instead of popping pimples, try an over-the-counter pimple remedy containing benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid. If that doesn't clear up your breakouts, call your dermatologist.

8. Stress Out

It's not your imagination. When you're stressed out, it really does show in your skin. 
"It's not well understood, but it's clear that stress makes many skin conditions worse," Dover says. 
Stress can flare up psoriasis and rosacea, as well as acne. It may also lower the skin's ability to keep out harmful irritants and infections. Plus, people who are wrapped up in their stress have less time to care for their skin properly.

9. Overdo It

Looking young and vibrant is highly prized, but the quest for it can have a price, especially if you trust your chemical peel to someone without an MD after his or her name. "I think they should be done under the guidance of a doctor because they certainly be very irritating, particularly to sensitive skin or people who have skin conditions," Stein says. In the wrong hands, a chemical peel could leave you with an infection or permanent scars.
You also don't want to overdo home microdermabrasion and peels. Instead of making you look younger, they'll leave your skin red and irritated. Let your dermatologist guide you if you are going to try at-home skin procedures.

10. Overeat

Before you take another bite of that bacon double cheeseburger, consider this: When you gain a lot of weight, your skin has to stretch to accommodate your new girth. Lose the weight and you'll be left with flabby, saggy skin. If your skin isn't elastic enough to bounce back, you may have to resort to surgery to tighten it up.

11. Fall Short on Sleep

More than a quarter of us aren't getting the seven to nine hours of sleep we need nightly, and our exhaustion is as obvious as the pallor of our skin and the bags under our eyes. 
"Your skin rejuvenates while you're sleeping," Dover says. He warns that a lack of sleep makes your face look "dull and listless" and can exaggerate the appearance of dark circles.

12. Ignore Warning Signs

A changing mole is one of the clearest signs of skin cancer. Spotting it early gives your doctor a chance to treat it before it has time to spread. But how will you ever know a mole is changing if you never look at your skin?

Once a month, you should be checking your skin from top to bottom, front to back in a full-length mirror. "You're looking for changes in the size, shape, and color of moles, or new moles," Dover says. If you spot anything, or if you've got a personal or family history of skin cancer, let your dermatologist do a full exam as well, Stein says.

"Junk Cars" Text Spam Plagues Miami Cell Phones, but One Brave Local Fights Back

By Gus Garcia-Roberts (miaminewtimes.com) 

"I know my daughter complains about this all the time and she hates it!  Mom.. there's the compramos carros text on my phone again.  I admit I tell her to ignore it and delete it but it just keeps coming back"  Thanks Gus you have made my daughter very happy!

 If you have a Miami-area phone number, there's a good chance that in the past few months, you've received texts seeking "junk cars." The message is all uppercase in both English and Spanish and promises $400 to $450 for your clunker. "It irritates the hell out of me," says a loyal reader we'll call Roscoe. The final straw for him was when his father, who pays for every text, received the spam. "Now they've entered my family," Roscoe says, "and that pissed me off."

So Roscoe has fought back by repeatedly calling the number and arranging to sell an imaginary car.

An IT guy by day, he uses Google Voice to disguise his number. He has learned that the spam-sending garage is based in Hialeah, so he picks far-flung addresses in South Beach, Coconut Grove, and Coral Gables. When the drivers arrive, he tries to lead them on for as long as possible. Then he breaks it to them that he's just fucking with them.

Roscoe has pulled the gambit about 20 times. "They say the most vulgar things imaginable," he says, "which just makes my day."

Many New Times staffers have received the texts, and we're not alone. "I get about three messages like this one from different numbers," laments one of many tortured souls we found online complaining about the texts. "It's so annoying, and there seems to be no way to stop them."

The numbers sending the texts seem to be generated by computer so as to not be blocked. But after following a trail of phone numbers, we eventually received a call from the text kingpin himself.

Through a translator, the Spanish-speaking text tycoon, who refused to give his name, claimed he doesn't use numbers that are on do-not-call lists. "I have the license to send the messages," he said, adding inexplicably, "I buy the list [of numbers] from the government."

He quickly hung up. The number he called from belongs to Hardwell Industries, Corp., a defunct Hialeah company registered to a Coral Springs man named Gregorio A. Tejera.

Because we know you're waiting for this, his number is 305-303-0119.

Feel free to send him photos of your junk.

Cutest Easter Idea

A friend of mine send me this and I thought it was the cutest idea.  It's from "See Jane Blog" Here is her link:

http://cjaneblog.blogspot.com/2010/03/cutest-easter-tradition.html

I blogged about this last year after Easter and got requests to do it before the holiday this year. I think this is by far the cutest Easter tradition.

1. Buy some "magic" jelly beans

2. Plant them in your yard, this only works the night before Easter

3. The next morning go outside and see what grew.

I love magic jelly beans.
Anyone know how I can make some dollar bills grow overnight?
Now that would be fun!

Harley 34th Birthday Bash!

On Sunday, April 1st we attended Harley Davidson's 34th Birthday Bash at their South Dade location.  The students from the CAT & CIE program were invited to attend by Elizabeth's Art Teacher, Ms. Parra.

Turns out the lesson for the week was a still life with motorcycles.  The parents were asked to volunteer their motorcycles and we don't personally have one but my BFF's husband does so I pleaded with him to give up his prize possession for a day and lend the bike to Elizabeth's art class.  After much persuasion and much sweating he agreed.  Elizabeth was estatic! I must send a special shot out to Gordie because not only did he lend his bike that day but it stayed overnight.  I can't thank him enough I don't think he slept at all.

The inspiration for the artwork!

The students did an amazing job and Ms. Parra was able to talk to Harley Davidson South and they agreed to display the student's artwork at the Birthday Bash! Another great event by the CAT & CIE program at South Miami K-8!  The artwork and event were truly amazing!

Eggstravaganza - Pinecrest Gardens

On March 31 we attended Eggstravaganza at Pinecrest Gardens.  It was a wonderful event and even though my big one was complaining that it was no fair that she couldn't attend the easter egg hunts (funny how for this she complains) she had a great time.  Lots of activities, shows, and food around the gardens.  Always a great event to come out with the family!

Anxiously Waiting for the Egghunt

Arts and Crafts Section

Adriana with Billy the Marlin!