I can so vouch for this!!!! Too funny.
Oh, elementary school. If you’re a fan of people watching like I am, you know there are three fantastic places in which to do your social grazing: 1) Theme parks 2) Walmart 3) Elementary schools.
Already I’m feeling like a mean girl for writing this post but I’m actually a really nice person with a mild obsession of the human condition. Ever since I left my full-time job to be a work-at-home mama, I’ve resorted to getting my daily sociology fix from the afterschool pickup routine.
There are certain mom types one encounters at school. I’m sure each type is more lovely than the last, so don’t think I’m here to hate on the mommy masses; quite the contrary. I’m simply a reporter of observations.
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| Million Kids Mom |
You know her when you see her. She's that mom responsible
for a million kids and doesn't seem the slightest bit flustered by it.
She mothers with ease and confidence. Lady, what's your secret? I have a
fraction of your brood and I can't keep it together!
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| The Teacher Ambusher |
This is the mom permanently affixed outside the classroom
door. The very moment the teacher opens the door to let out the class;
she's there — ready to discuss her child's 97% on that spelling test and
the upcoming math assessment. Give the teacher (and your kid) a break!
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| Super Fit Mom |
This mom usually has a few kids but you'd totally never know
it to look at her. With her tight buns, cut arms and seemingly endless
energy, you wish you could trade places with her hot bod without having
to do the work.
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| Fabulous Mom |
Every bloody day she looks like she stepped off a photo
shoot for Cosmo to pick up the kids. How does she find the time to look
like that? Does she have staff? Inquiring moms wanna know!
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| Pajama Mom |
Cut off about 8 inches hair and add about 30 lbs. to the
chick in this picture and you're looking straight at me. No, we pajama
moms didn't just wake up; we just look that way.
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| Late Mom |
Habitually late as she races into school, knocking over
strollers and toddlers in her path; she makes her grand dramatic
entrance. No judgment here; better late than never, Mama.
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| Sports Mom |
Sports Mom is in a big fat hurry most of the time to collect
her kiddies into the minivan to change into uniform stat. She's in it
to win it!
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| Popular Mom |
Popular Mom knows everybody: teachers, staff, fellow
parents, and kids. I don't know how she does it but she does it.
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| Volunteer Mom |
Volunteer Mom is that mom you are so thankful exists but
feel guilty that you aren't. She volunteers her efforts in the
classroom, school craft fair, school fundraisers, and everything else. A
special place in heaven awaits.
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| I'm a Little Bit Afraid of You and I Don't Know Why Mom |
This mom is intimidating for some wildly undefined reason.
It's an energy more than a look, a tone, or a behavior. I don't know
what it is but I'm staying far, far away.
So which mom are you??
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