Wednesday, September 26, 2012

When Facebookers Attack

http://www.inthepowderroom.com/read/home-time/2012-09-when-facebookers-attack.html



"Warning contains some explicit language but I just couldn't resist!"

There was a photo going around Facebook last week of a mother posing with her four children presumably on the first day of school. The mom was jumping for joy in the air; the four backpack-clad kids were scowling (except for one, who was clearly trying not to laugh.)
The photo was "liked" and shared as though it were the cure for cancer.

But if you looked closer at the nearly ten thousand comments underneath the photo you would've seen something very unsettling churning below the surface-The Mommy Wars-yet again.

The vast majority of the comments were overwhelmingly positive: "Where is the LOVE button?" and "Yep, that was me last week!" for instance. But scattered between many approving quips were more than a few people, mostly women, expressing their disapproval of the mother in the photo.

The last time I wrote about The Mommy Wars I used humor to lighten the topic, poke fun at myself, and encourage a live-and-let-live attitude.

This time I'm not feeling quite so charitable or good-humored.

Frankly, I'm sick of Facebitches who clearly never learned the proverb "if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Take Martha, who so condescendingly stated: "Sad in so many ways . . . When did children become a nuisance instead of a blessing? Some day your season of life as a mom will be over and you'll wonder where all that time went."

Really Martha? Well some day your season as a crotchety Facebook commenter will be over and you'll wonder why your husband is banging your next-door neighbor. Don't you have anything better to do besides rain on people's parades?

Lucinda snipped: "Even if this is a staged joke the mother should be ashamed. I hear too many parents at my son's school discuss their children like they are a burden. Maybe they should of really considered if parenting was for them before."

Really Lucinda? Well maybe YOU should have considered that "should of" isn't a phrase before you left such a judgmental and poorly constructed comment. I suggest you bone up on your grammar with some of the time you waste being such a snatch on Facebook.

A woman named Missy clucked: "How sad. We homeschool our children and consider it a blessing, joy and privilege to have them home with us. It is awesome to spend time with them and watch them learn!!"

Well isn't that nice Missy. How wonderful for you!! (Double exclamation points all around-whooohoooo!) Hey, do you have any openings in your homeschool classroom? Just curious, because my children need some tutoring in spelling bee strategies and feeling superior to others.

Mary tsk-tsked: "If she is so happy to see them go, why did she bother having them in the first place?"

Lovely. You know what Mary? Go scoop your litter box and call me after you've had a human child or FOUR. It's called satire. Look into it.

Listen Facebitches, it obviously doesn't take much courage or brainpower to talk smack about some anonymous mother behind her back. You want to pick a fight? Bring your judgmental and grammar-challenged ass over to my Facebook page and I'll show you what "Back-to-School" really means.

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